I have no updates but this is helping me to feel official, so shush.
Ambition is demanded of us because we know mediocrity is not an option. When society tells women that if we are just averagely good-looking, or averagely smart, or reasonably high-achieving, we will never be loved and safe, perfectionism is an adaptive strategy. We learn that if we want love and security, we have to be perfect, and if it doesn’t work out, well, that means we just weren’t good enough. And we know it probably won’t work out well. Girls aren’t fools. They know what is being done to them. They know what means for their futures in terms of money and power.
Girls get it. An under-reported, crucial facet of the study is the extent and cynicism of girls’ concerns about economic equality and unpaid work. A full 65% of girls aged 11-21 are worried about the cost of childcare, and while 58% say they “would like to become a leader in their chosen profession, 46% of them worry that having children will negatively affect their career.
Girls know perfectly well that structural sexism means they can’t have everything they’re being told they must have. They are striving to have it all everyway, striving to have everything and be everything like good girls are supposed to, and it hasn’t broken them yet, for good or ill. That’s is one reason young women still do so well in school and at college despite our good grades not translating to real-world success. It’s one reason we’re so good at getting those entry-level service jobs: we are not burdened by the excess of ego, the desire to be treated like a human being first, that prevents many young men from engaging proactively with an economy that just wants self-effacing drones trained to smile till it hurts.
The press just loves to act concerned about half-naked young ladies, preferably with illustrations to facilitate the concern. Somehow nothing changes. And maybe that’s the point. Maybe part of the function of the constant stream of news about young girls hurting and hating themselves isn’t to raise awareness. Maybe part of it is designed to be reassuring.
It must be comforting, if you’re invested in the status quo, to hear that young women are punished and made miserable when they misbehave.
I’ve said this before, but I’ll repeat it: for all those knuckle-clutching articles about how girls everywhere are about to pirouette into twerking, puking, self-hating whorishness, we do not actually care about young women - not, that is, about female people who happen to be young. Instead, we care about Young Women (TM), fantasy Young Women as a semiotic skip for all our cultural anxieties. We value girls as commodities without paying them the respect that both their youth and their personhood deserves. Being fifteen is fucked up enough already without having the expectations, moral neuroses and guilty lusts of an entire culture projected onto this perfect empty shell you’re somehow supposed to be. Hollow yourself out and starve yourself down until you can swallow the shame of the world.
We care about young women as symbols, not as people.—
Dean : ” Who are you ?”
Cas : ” I’m the one who shot you right and raised you from anonymity!”
Dean : ” Yeah thanks for that,but who are you?”
Cas : ” I’m Castiel. I’m a photographer of the Vogue!”
I find all beautiful people to be attractive aesthetically (sexually is another matter and beside the point here)…there are plenty of “fat” women I don’t find beautiful, plenty of “thin” people I don’t find beautiful, and plenty of people in any arbitrary category (gender, sex, hair color, ability, race, etc.) whom I find beautiful or non-beautiful.
What I’m wondering is whether you may have wound up in a spot that I did for a while as I was becoming educated in social justice issues; over-policing your aesthetic. Because society tries to say that no women over size 00 are beautiful, you think that to be a good person you must see them all as beautiful. Because society tries to say that no trans* people are beautiful, you think that to be a good person you must see them all as beautiful, etc.
And dude, they aren’t.
No more than all the skinny blonde white blue-eyed cishet women are beautiful. There are ones with bad skin and weird teeth and disproportionate features and poor posture who are as photogenic as a box of dead toads or who for some reason just don’t zizz your joy buzzer. Same way I look at photos of some art/flowers/animals/sunsets/landscapes and go WOW and at others and go meh and my wow may be your meh and the other way around. Trying to force yourself to be like “she’s fat, and that automatically makes her a 10 of wowbeautiful because body acceptance” not only just won’t work because it’s bullshit, it will actually wind up deepening the societal programming because you can’t feed yourself cardboard and call it cake without winding up with a cake aversion eventually.
See, the thing it took me so long to realize was that those movements aren’t about saying that every single person is literally, aesthetically pleasing. Nor are they trying to say that you should be sexually aroused by everyone (that’s called omnisexuality or Harknessism and it’s simply not how most people are wired). That’s just a strawman that gets used to insidiously break them down, even accidentally by the welll-intentioned. The points they are making are threefold:
1. Societal standards that say beauty is ONLY a physically able, pale skinned, white, fair-eyed, fair-haired, extremely young, extremely thin waifish gender-normative feminine cishetfemale are just fucking stupid and hurtful and oppressive and all the fucktastic.
2. Measuring people’s worth by how close they come to item #1 is just fucking horrifying, and so that’s where you get the posts that are trying to reclaim language by presenting someone’s survival as beautiful, their intellect as beautiful, their kindness as beautiful, or otherwise presenting traits that are far more worthy of praise in the language of the thing our society is apt to praise at the highest value.
3. While not all fat/trans*/brown/disabled/etc. people are beautiful, all of those types of people and more CAN be among the beautiful. Not all mammals are kittens, but all kittens are mammals.
It’s that these people have the same right to be deemed sexy/gorgeous/powerful/desirable as the “conventionally” standard-fitting:
(ok, she’s not sexy, but if you don’t think she’s fucking preciousadorablecutiepieoooooooooh you fucking have no soul)
Whether or not you are attracted to all of those people and whether or not you personally see beauty in all of those people, if you deny their right to be deemed beautiful, THAT is when you, my friend, have a big honking problem.
oh mjy gjkkjgfuckignkfg gofdd
dfffkjh yes an au where lucifer gets sam’s body but instead of using it to destroy the planet he uses it to be FAAAAAABULOUS~
ok but where r the cornrows
Yes Means Yes blog: “visions of female sexual power & a world without rape”
Parents, siblings, carers, cousins, teachers, tutors, mentors, aunts, uncles, etc, of young children: we have a chance to mold the gender relations of the future.
Such great advice.
I’ve done this with my kids since the moment they could each sign “more” and “all done” around 8 months old. More tickles? Or all done? More kisses? Or all done? More bouncing? Or all done?
When they’re old enough to play with others, you teach them to constantly check in with each other. Are you having fun? Or do you want to be done?
Is the shrieking laughter or fear? ASK.
Is the giggling from joy or nervousness? ASK.
Do you like being smacked with pillows? ASK.
Are you having fun wrestling? ASK.
And keep asking. What was fun five minutes ago might not be fun now.
Both kids know the moment something stops being fun, they need to stop. And they know that their wishes about what is fun and what’s not will be respected by their parents and by each other. They’ve known it since 8 months old.
This truly isn’t a difficult concept. It’s easy to teach it by example and it’s incredibly simple for children to do.
Are you having fun? Or do you want to stop?
Fucking teach it, parents. Please. ~JJ
YEP. ”Do you want me to tickle you some more?” “Does E. want you to hug him? You can’t hug him if he doesn’t want you to.” etc. It is VERY EASY.
And yet my parents, and I think many if not most parents of my generation, never cottoned on to this, and as a result we take weird things as signs of affection and feel like we have to give up some rights in order to be loved.
This is basically what it’s like to be an adult.
John Dehlin is a practicing Mormon … and an outspoken activist for LGBTQ rights. In this touching talk at TEDxUSU, John shares how a friendship with an openly gay coworker changed his views on homosexuality and led him to a career in psychology.
In his research, John looks at the complex, often-prickly relationship between religion and sexuality. Here, he shares some of his findings — heartbreaking statistics about how negative feelings toward sexuality and attempts to “fix” same-sex attraction inspire suicides and teen homelessness.
Live, love, be!
Beauty or brains?
Fuck that, it’s not a dichotomy. Let’s not act like mascara glues girls eyes so shut that they can’t read a word of Dickens or solve a trig problem. Let’s talk about how no boy has ever been asked if he’d rather get his Bachelor’s or get married; no boy has ever been told that he’s too handsome to run for office. So why cover up my tits so you can take me seriously?
Beauty or brains? I’ll take ‘em all, thanks.
Slam fuckin’ dunk thank u
Andy’s toys couldn’t have gone to a more deserving child.
i will always reblog this because its my most favorite thing ever.
lol his face is like ‘i have just been given a gift’
inspired by this post
Dean Winchester doesn’t even remember what it’s like to be a human, he knows fire and pain. He knows the smell of seared flesh and sulfur. He knows The Prince, the Prince of Hell. Thousands of years down in the Pit and you know who your higher-ups are and Castiel is one of them. He’s stronger than anyone else, besides the Devil himself, he’s ruthless and cruel and Dean loves him. There’s no question about it. In some sick, bloody way he loves this man, this demon, this fallen angel.
And Castiel knows it, he knows it all too well. Why else would they be paired together to raise Castiel’s father Lucifer? Why else would they be able to walk the world of the mortals hand in hand, bringing doom among the sniveling humans? Dean loves him, and Castiel, despite his rage, despite his wickedness loves him back. Maybe, sometime after the world is encased in fire they can take a break, find some room and stop this back-alley affair. Maybe, but that’s not today. Today they take on the world in it’s self destructive behavior. They will not bow down, they will rise from the earth and encompass the entire world in pain and darkness, side by side.
Peeta and katniss’ daughter slowly began to learn about the games and the Capitol and the rebellion in school. One day she came home and told her parents that a real soldier rebellion veteran came to school to talk to them. She turned to her mother and asked, “Did you know a soldier named Gale Hawthorne?”
girl scouts are letting in trans* girls and letting girls replace God with whatever they want in the pledge, also they use cookie income to support abortion and LGBT agendas
boy scouts are just now allowing gays in, officially in january, but gay leaders are still banned and they’re talking about segregation on camping trips, with gays and straights in different tents. also they still ban atheists,
girl scouts: 10000 boy scouts: 0